Heya everyone out there reading their computer monitors right now! It's that special time again. The time when one member of the staff gives thanks to you the reader. Oh and speaking of thanks, here in Canada this week we are giving thanks. It's Thanksgiving Day weekend and were going to give you more than just the usual turkey dinner, we plan to lay on the gravy and make sure it nice and thick.

Do you have the same problem I do? An uncle that just can eat and eat huge portions of turkey, cranberry sauce and stuffing while everyone else is finished and on their dessert. Xavier Von Erck has that same problem we all do. In the The Destroyer Cometh he talked about his uncle who packs food away like a tank. Well, no he didn't write about that he talked about someone that is a turkey though. An orange one in fact and it was the scariest thing to hit TNA since Roddy Piper's return.

Have you ever been the child at a large family Thanksgiving dinner? RCC writer besmirched had that privilege. Not only was he removed from the children's table to the adults table but he managed to pick a bone or two when it came to the RCC Spotlight: Anonymous Articles 24: Ratings. He didn't need up getting the larger side of the turkey wishbone he did it with grace and a side order of gravy. Outstanding.

The worst part of Thanksgiving dinner is when someone burns the turkey. Talk about ruining it for everyone. Thankfully this week, drqshadow, Jon Tyler and Brett Berliner didn't burn anything. Well there is a sort of this picture of a female chicken in this review, but no there aren't any turkeys. In The Oratory RAW Review Crew: 10/06/03 these guys made sure to eat their share of potatoes too, they need their starches.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, Jon Tyler brought something for lazy holiday cooks. He brought a cookbook with a very specific recipe. Your World Is What You Make It had lots of things like an appetizer, a main course and a dessert. How nice. He even managed a nice piece of cantaloupe at the end. Jon's not a lazy chef though; he can boil water with the best of them.

Do you like ultimatums? I know I don't. Eat your vegetables or you can't have the special Thanksgiving Day cobbler. This is how it's like on Thanksgiving Day at the Madison household we are made to choose one or the other. Justin T went one better he said eat your vegetables or die! Okay, he didn't really say that he did however mention death in Pay Per Value: ROH 5/31/03: Do or Die he talks about the recent results of the Ring of Honor show and no one was hurt..badly.

What would Thanksgiving be without that special meal? It would be empty and there would be a whole lot of "when's the game on" talk going on. The featured meal is a column Jon Tyler wrote about a turkey that was very special in the WWE. He wrote about the Gobbledy Gooker the greatest character wrestling history. Alright, it wasn't about him but it was about a guy that probably ate turkey and was loved by fans all over the world in The Greatest Character In Wrestling History: Part 1 read it and make sure to use a toothpick to get at those hard to reach areas of your teeth.

I don't know if they celebrate Thanksgiving in Scotland. Scotland is where TD is from and he managed to write about how everyone's pants expand and the top button pops off so your gut is hanging out when you've eaten too much on Thanksgiving. What a terrible visual don't you think? Oh wait, wrong rupture. What TD did do is write the slickest, most compelling column of the week. In Between Rupture And Rapture.... Just make sure you do it before dinner or you'll bust. That can get pretty messy.

What's the greatest friendship since the meeting of the Indians and the Pilgrims? Answer The W.A.R. Report: NWA-TNA for 10/8/03. This week battle consisted of one of the lowest grades episodes of TNA in a long time. James IV, Xavier Von Erck, Lauren C and Ace Rockola. All argued over who made a better pumpkin pie. It's pie people, this is a time to give thanks, so shut up and be thankful already, stop arguing.

There was nothing quite like the meal shared by the OTC this week. They enjoyed some special Kurt Angle niblets, John Cena baby carrots, and then managed to digest the meal with a huge helping of Big Show sewage. Yeah, WORST DESSERT EVER. It was a real disappointment for the Oratory Television Council. The writers of the show must have left their scripts in the oven too long and it apparently burned. The Ham was overcooked and stuffing had no taste. In Smackdown Grades for 10/09/03 read what John C, Dave Spinosa and Lauren C all thought about this dinner. It left them with an empty feeling, not enough starches probably and it left them constipated. I get the impression they won't be getting together too often for family dinners too often anymore.

We do more than feed your mind with thoughts about wrestling. Oh yes! We give you more because we know you want more. On Oratory Opinions we give you the best meal you can ever want in movies, music, politics, popular culture and that meal is called options. Mmm, make sure to have a second helping. Or maybe you want to base the turkey this time around. In the Readers Columnist Corner readers get a chance to be chefs and do more than just cook a turkey with a simple onion and orange stuffing to give it additional flavor. Or maybe you want to be the next Gobbledy Gooker. I don't know why someone would but hey, you never know some people may just really like pretending they're turkeys and want to see if that character has wings. I'm sorry that was a really bad pun, and at times I can't resist the urge. In the Oratory Wrestling Alliance and Rocky Mountain Wrestling Federation you have the chance to role play and be the best character you can be. Just please don't sign up and say you want to be a turkey, or a chicken or even a leg of lamb, I was kidding about that. Maybe searching some of the thoughts of our Oratory Opinions staff is what you like to do. The Oratory Opinions Archive is a collection of all the Opinions staff work. It's food for thought.

Take care,
Marcus Madison
Oratory Writer and the only staff member to make the meanest Peppercorn
gravy on the site.